After reading over the person's summary of the Hype passage, there have been several points I've some across. The writer seems to know what the passage is about and discusses the author's main point in the opening paragraph. Soon after this however, the author begins to get disorganized. Further into the opening paragraph, although I'm not sure if it is part of the same paragraph, the writer gives an example where they state "ages 10 to 50 upgrade their cellphones just to satisfy their idea of modernizing." I'm not sure if this was meant as an example given from their experiences, but it seemed a bit out of place in the paragraph. The reason it seems out of place is because she just seemed to just jump straight into it, not even citing where she read or heard that. As if she just pulled the fact out of thin air. This statement also seems to contradict the points they make later on.
The writer first mentions that these advertisements "are a person's guideline in life" and it "brings a sense of accomplishment". However, in their second paragraph, the writer mentions that "advertisements [don't] have a [valid] message." She also gives another example about advertisements in this paragraph, specifically video game, fast food, and weight loss commercials. She doesn't mention where these examples are from though. Did he or she see these commercials his or herself? Where did she get this from?
The writer's final paragraph seems to sum up what they've read but then mentions "taking my experiences living in a city..." This threw me off seeing as the writer didn't even mention examples of this. I think it would've greatly helped improve their paper.
Overall, I think the writer has the right idea about what to write about, but their disorganization and unclear examples get in the way of passing.
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